SERIES: Stress free school - Communication with the school

Written By Nicole Wilson

Today’s blog explores a question almost every parent asks me:

💬 How do I communicate a challenge my child is having at school…

and actually get an enjoyable, connected outcome?

This might include:

  • Your child feeling unheard, anxious, or overwhelmed

  • Friendship struggles or social stress

  • Big feelings before, during, or after school

  • Meeting basic emotional or physical needs

  • Bullying or relational challenges

  • A teacher misunderstanding your child’s behaviour

  • Punishments, rewards, or compliance-based systems that conflict with your values

If this is you — you’re not alone.

😟 Why communicating with the school often feels so overwhelming

Most parents carry a lot of emotion before they talk to a teacher.

They don’t want to be dismissed.
They don’t want to be “that parent.”
They don’t want their child to be treated differently.

And many carry younger parts — memories of being judged, misunderstood, or overpowered by teachers or authority figures during their own childhood.

So what happens?

  • They stay quiet

  • Or they send an email from a stressed emotional state

  • Or they try to sound overly polite and “reasonable,” watering down the real issue

But there’s another way — a way rooted in Aware Parenting, the Marion Method, and Nonviolent Communication (NVC).

A way that actually gets all needs met — your child’s, yours, and the teacher’s.

Let’s walk through it.

🌱 1. Start with your own state of being

This is the foundation of Aware Parenting school support.

Before you email, call, or walk into a meeting, pause and connect inward.

  • What are you needing?

  • What are you willing for?

  • Which younger parts feel scared to speak?

  • Which stories or beliefs are activated (e.g., “I’ll be dismissed,” “Authority is scary,” “I can’t ask for too much”)?

These internal reactions are normal. They are also invitations for healing.

When you connect with yourself first, you shift the energy completely.
Your calm becomes the atmosphere of the conversation.
Your clarity becomes the guide.
Your willingness becomes the anchor.

I teach this step-by-step inside my course Surviving School with Aware Parenting & The Marion Method, including how I prepare emotionally for school meetings, emails, and advocacy.

🌱 2. See the situation through an Aware Parenting lens

In Aware Parenting, we know:

Behaviour is communication.

Not a problem.
Not disobedience.
Not defiance.
But a message.

So instead of accepting behaviour labels from school like:

❌ “She’s refusing to do her work.”
❌ “He’s being disruptive again.”

You can gently reframe with:

✅ “My child’s behaviour is communicating something — perhaps overwhelm, tiredness, stress, or disconnection.”
✅ “I’m wanting to understand what she’s needing in those moments.”

This small shift dissolves blame and shame, and creates space for solutions rooted in connection, emotional safety, and understanding.

🌱 3. Use NVC (Nonviolent Communication) as your school communication framework

NVC is an incredibly effective way to support conscious communication with teachers and principals.

Here’s the simplified version:

🟡 Observation

A clear, non-judgmental expression of what you’ve seen or heard.
“I’ve noticed Mia has been coming home very teary after school this week.”

🟢 Feelings

Your authentic emotional experience.
“I’m feeling concerned and curious about what her days have been like.”

🔵 Needs

The needs that are alive for you.
“I’m needing clarity and collaboration so we can support her together.”

🟣 Request

A clear, kind, do-able request.
“Would you be willing to share what you’ve observed during the day and explore with me options that could support her more fully?”

This is school advocacy in its most connected form — grounded, compassionate, and effective.

I have a full unit on this inside Surviving School with Aware Parenting & The Marion Method.

🌱 4. Aim for “All Needs Met” — not “My way wins”

This is where Aware Parenting and The Marion Method shine.

From this perspective:

  • Your needs matter

  • The teacher’s needs matter

  • And your child’s needs matter

When your intention is everyone gets their needs met, the entire tone shifts.

A simple sentence like:

“I’d love if we can find a way where everyone’s needs are met — my child’s, yours, and mine.”

…softens teachers instantly.
You become collaborators instead of opponents.
You build trust instead of tension.
You create solutions instead of stand-offs.

🌱 5. End with Willingness

Willingness is at the heart of the Marion Method.

It transforms situations where you feel powerless into moments of grounded strength.

Try ending your meeting or email with phrases like:

👉 “I’m willing to keep communicating so we can support her together.”
👉 “I’m willing to try different strategies and stay connected.”
👉 “I’m willing to keep the dialogue open and adjust where needed.”

This is how you remain in the system — but not of it.

Calm.
Connected.
Collaborative.

Your child feels safer.
You feel clearer.
The school feels supported rather than threatened.

This is the essence of conscious school support.

💛 How I can support you further

If you’d love more guidance on:

  • School communication

  • Separation anxiety

  • Drop-off challenges

  • Bullying support

  • Big feelings before and after school

  • Advocacy with confidence

  • Navigating punitive systems

  • Or staying deeply connected while in the school system

You’ll find everything inside my signature course:

🌿 Surviving School with Aware Parenting & The Marion Method

A step-by-step pathway to help you support your child with calmness, clarity, and connection - even inside domination-based school systems.

👉 Learn more here:
https://nicwilson.samcart.com/products/surviving-school-with-aware-parenting-and-the-marion-method/

Nicole Wilson
Next

‘In’ the system, but not a part ‘of’ it!