‘In’ the system, but not a part ‘of’ it!
Each Monday, I’ll be here sharing ways to weave the incredible principles of Aware Parenting, and the Marion Method (because they fit together so beautifully!), into the everyday realities of being in these systems while practising Aware Parenting at home.
I’m here to support you with everything from avoiding the dreaded drop-off and separation anxiety, to homework battles, bullying, challenging communication with schools, and those after-school meltdowns.
I’ll also share how I navigate the “conflicts of interest” that can arise, like balancing no rewards or punishments at home with what your child experiences at school, or supporting their autonomy inside systems that value compliance.
Each week, you’ll find ways to dissolve school stress (not manage it!), bring more connection to mornings and transitions, and advocate for your child with calm confidence and compassion in ANY situation.
In my life with my daughter, now 12, we’ve been practising Aware Parenting since she was three and a half.
Our motto has always been to “do school our way” - by being in the system, but not of it.
That means walking our own path. Asking questions. Saying no when it’s a no. And showing up with willingness* as our guide.
I invite you to join me here each Monday and explore how you can feel more connected and spacious as you navigate the systems of school and day care in what Marion Rose calls this Disconnected Domination Culture*.
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TODAY'S TOPIC: Turning Morning Stress into Morning Bliss
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Comment the word "BLISS" below to get my FREE 27 page guide with helpful ideas based on Aware Parenting and the Marion Method principles.
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I don't know about you but lately I go to sleep tired and wake up... more tired.. How is this possible? Well if we stop to think about it, it makes sense.
We are busier than we have ever been, have more stress, more devices (with EMF radiation everywhere we go), more activities, more work, more expectations in every part of our life both parenting and our own 'stuff', than ever before.
Life is truly hectic.
When we add in the stress of school and day care, challenging drop offs that leave us picking up guilt sticks in the car on the way to work and leaves our child feeling scared and disconnected until 3pm... it's a LOT!
And I want to help you!
Morning stress is almost always a case of the stories in our head and sometimes the practical side of things, which can be fixed in a jiffy, so let's start with this.
Practical changes you can make TODAY to make tomorrow's morning blissful (not stressful)
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#1 - EVENING PREPARATION (without pressure)
Think of the night before as an act of love for your future self and your child. You can play games with your child to:
Lay out uniform.
Fill water bottles.
Write any notes to advocate for your child (Comment "MAGIC" for my Magic Note Spell Book template to see which notes I use!)
Make lunches
Pack bags
All with a smile on your face and some laughter for you and your child! (See my free guide for ideas of games)
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#2 - CONNECT IN WITH YOURSELF, BEFORE YOUR CHILD
Before you even open your eyes, connect in with how you are feeling and how you want the morning to go. What are you willing for? State it clearly and believe it is possible (This is the Willingness work from The Marion Method)
Notice how you’re feeling emotionally.
Notice what’s alive in your body physically.
What are YOU needing right now before you get up!
Wake up before your child if this is possible, and spend a few minutes in silence doing somethign you love - yoga, meditation, hot tea sipping by the window or on the balcony...
The warm summer breeze is the best right now in Australia! And if you can't get up before your child (hello all early bird children) still I invite you to take 5 mins (while you have a pre-set up activity for your child ready the night before) to connect in and spend time creating spaciousness within yourself.
I find repeating some phrases in this moment help me a lot - things like "I'm willing for this morning to go smoothly", "Connection is more important to me than being on time", "This is not an emergency" or whatever resonates for you!
Your calm energy becomes your child’s atmosphere. When you connect with yourself first, you prepare yourself to handle anything that is coming your way.
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#3 - ATTACHMENT PLAY IN PLACE OF 'PRODUCTIVITY"
As you know through Aware Parenting, one of the ways children release tension is through laughter and play.
It is also the magic sauce I believe can 'fix' ANY challenging behaviour and the secret cure to uncooperativeness in the morning.
Firstly, I invite you to remove the words "Should", "Have to", "Must", "Need to" from your morning (and life!)
These words sound yucky and children rarely respond well to orders, forcing and coercion when they are tired and getting ready for school or day care.
How do you feel when you hear these words?
A quick dance party in the kitchen, the “hurry up hug” game, or pretending you can’t find where their shoes go (not on the head really?) can transform the energy of the morning completely.
Play before school fills their cup and the connection that is created will pave the way for a smooth drop off.
There are HEAPS of morning games in my free guide OR you can also comment "BOOK" now to get my FREE 47 page Attachment Play ebook
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#4 - REFRAME "RESISTANCE" AND SEE THE FEELINGS UNDERNEATH
When your child slows down or refuses to get dressed, see it as communication, not defiance.
The refusal to do what we need is a message they need more connection.
So yelling orders and telling them to hurry up from the kitchen while they are two rooms away, simply won't help. (I REALLY know it's not convenient to stop making breakfast to go and meet them where they are at, but it will be worth it I promise!)
A Pause. Offer a hug. A reflection of "I hear how tired you are sweety, me too, let's help each other today. I'll finish breaky, what would you be willing to do first?
A moment of empathy can move more quickly than any 'command' ever will.
If they are REALLY unwilling to do anything or simply refusing to go to school, there may be bigger happening for them like bullying at school or another challenge, like friendship issues, they are worried about.
I invite you to create some time to play or listen to feelings as soon as you can to find out and take action accordingly.
Comment "BULLY" now for my huge FREE 80 page guide on how to deeply support and advocate for your child with bullying at school.
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#5 - GOODBYES WITH CONNECTION, NOT "CORRECTION"
No matter how the morning goes for you, the final moment before separation matters most.
Even if the morning was messy, I invite you to end with warmth instead of more subtle shaming "Well I hope tomorrow goes better than this morning did!"
Offer a smile. A big hug. An apology if you acted in unenjoyable ways whilst rushing out the door. A promise that in 6 hours, you will be there waiting for them to listen to all that happened and play their favourite game.
Then leave them with a loving phrase like "No matter what, you are the most important thing to me and I'll always be here for you no matter what. I love you unconditionally."
This is the sense of safety that they carry into their day.
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You don’t need a new routine! You need a new relationship with mornings deeply supported by Aware Parenting and Marion Method principles.
I'd love to know, what’s one tiny thing you’re willing to do differently tomorrow morning?
I invite you to share it below
Nic 💜
