What is Aware Parenting?
Parenting is one of the most rewarding and often one of the most overwhelming journeys we can take. Many parents are searching for ways to connect more deeply with their children, to move away from punishment or rewards, and to raise their children with compassion and cooperation. Aware Parenting, founded by developmental psychologist Aletha Solter, Ph.D., offers a clear, research-based framework for doing just that.
The Foundations of Aware Parenting
At its heart, Aware Parenting is built on three main pillars:
Attachment and Connection
Secure attachment is the foundation of healthy emotional development. Aware Parenting emphasises responding with empathy, closeness, and presence, so children know they are safe, loved, and heard. This isn’t about perfection, it’s about creating a consistent base of connection.Non-Punitive Discipline
Aware Parenting guides parents away from punishments and rewards. Instead, it offers ways to set loving limits with empathy and clarity. Children are not “disciplined into obedience”, they are supported to develop cooperation, responsibility, and empathy themselves.Healing from Stress and Trauma
Children naturally release stress and heal from trauma through crying, raging, and laughter. Rather than distracting, ignoring, or shutting down these feelings, Aware Parenting encourages us to lovingly listen and support the release. This allows children to offload accumulated feelings and return to joy, cooperation, and ease.
How Do We Put This Into Practice?
Parents often ask, “But what do I actually do when my child is crying?” Aware Parenting offers clear, practical steps:
Listening to Feelings: When your child cries or has a tantrum, stay close, calm, and present. Your role is not to stop the feelings, but to offer loving presence so your child can process them safely.
Attachment Play: Play is one of the most powerful tools for healing. Laughter helps children release tension, and specific kinds of “attachment play” (such as power-reversal games or role-play) can heal fear, aggression, and disconnection. Click HERE to receive my free Attachment Play eBook to learn all you need to know with lots of examples games and play ideas!
Loving Limits: Sometimes we say “no” not to control but to support. A clear, calm limit, says no to the behaviour but yes to the feelings underneath, while staying warm and connected.
The Transformation for Families
Implementing Aware Parenting changes not only children’s lives but also our own. Parents often report:
Less yelling and conflict in the home
More cooperation without threats or bribes
Deeper emotional connection with their children
Healing for their own childhood wounds as they parent differently
Why Aware Parenting Matters Today
In a world that often promotes quick fixes, punishments, or “tough love,” Aware Parenting offers something radically different: a compassionate, evidence-based approach that honours both children and parents. By understanding children’s natural healing processes and needs, we create families rooted in connection, respect, and love.
